


All it takes is a reindeer beanie

by FallingSlowlyForAGirl



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Christmas, F/F, Reindeer, Sanvers Week 2018, SanversSecretSanta2018, Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2018-12-23
Packaged: 2019-09-25 12:21:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17121269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallingSlowlyForAGirl/pseuds/FallingSlowlyForAGirl
Summary: Its Christmas and Alex goes down memory lane. Its been a big year and Alex has finally accepted who she really is. Everything is good... except for Maggie. She rejected her (its after episode 2x06) and has never showed up with pizza and beer. Is there still a chance for them to get together?Just tell me if you guys want me to continue:) this was my first try so tips are always welcome, compliments as well since I feel pretty shy about this!





	All it takes is a reindeer beanie

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SanversSecretSanta2018](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=SanversSecretSanta2018).



For my secret santa  
Here my first attempt in writing a short story  
Alex has just been rejected after she kissed Maggie. Sadly Maggie never came over with pizza and beer. Alex goes down memory lane when she is decorating the christmas tree. Is there still a chance for them to be together?  
I really hope you like it, its kind of based on my personal life and how i feel about this year. If you like it, i got a lot more planned out for them but the deadline was approaching really fast.  
Merry christmas love

It starts with a reindeer Beanie

Chapter 1  
Its almost christmas and Kara has everyone decorating the loft together. Alex and Kara are hanging the balls in the christmas tree but Alex’s mind is going places. It seems to be spinning all the time lately. Her mind is running circles again and she realizes that she has no idea where she is going. Her jaw clenches and she looks down at her hands fumbling on the wings of the little pluchen angel she was about to put in the tree.

That pure feeling of stress she has been having lately is coming back again. Her entire body stiffens and for one moment she feels trapped in her own body. Too afraid, too nervous and too uncomfortable to move. She forces herself to take a deep breath and relax some of her muscles, reminding herself that the last thing she wants is someone actually noticing that she has not been doing so fine as she always has had everyone to believe. She looks down at the angel and thinks back about last year she was standing in this exact same place.

Its been a big year, maybe a little bit too big to her taste, a little less feelings and changes would actually have been appreciated Alex thinks. One particulair well thing about herself that she could not deny anymore to herself, seems to have changed everything for her. And eventhough its still new and shiny, awkward and sometimes uncomfortable for her, she realizes that apart from the emotional breakdowns and bump in the roads, she actually is grateful this christmas for what she has been through this year.

Its actually quite funny to Alex that realising she liked women (and one still in particular eventhough she tries not to think about that), made everything about herself fall into place while before sex or her sexuality where a non-existent factor to who she believed she was. Its christmas, and she is grateful. She remembers last year and well basically every year, not even specifically on christmas where she kept feeling so weird for no reason and so alone, always too tight in her own body to ever imagine being loved or being touched by anyone.

Even remembering the feeling now is enough to make her throat feel tight and to feel the shiver creeping up her spine. This christmas she finally feels who she really is. She finally knows there are more people who feel the way that she does and she does not need to hide it, eventhough she is still working on that last one. She feels free. Well except for that you are definitely not fine about…. the traitorous voice in her head starts to tell her and she suddenly feels cold when she gets interrupted by Maggie.

“Alex, hey Alex”

Alex tries not to jump at the sound from Maggie’s voice and shakes herself from her thoughts that were going into a dangerous direction anyway. She must have been more uncomfortable than she thought. She has been trying to look at it in a positive way but she thinks she is not quite there yet. She is not quite happy yet and she is not quite ready yet to show ‘the world’ who she is. She just has gotten good at pretending, even to herself. But Alex knows from her training at the DEO that your body language doesn’t lie. She finds herself woken from her ‘what has happenend since last christmas’ memory lane with her jaw clenched and her yes closed. Her head is slightly bowed down and her arms are crossed tightly around herself, appearently from the shivering.

“Or maybe I am just that weak and desperate for love that I need to cuddle or protect myself”, Alex thinks darkly.

She slaps herself mentally and forces herself to come back to reality. Reality. Where Maggie, the Maggie who is standing here in front of her and the Maggie who rejected her. Alex briefly wonders why she still wants her around after that humiliation.

Probably because of how Maggie is looking at her right now. Her eyes are fully focussed on her and they are soft and worried, the chocolate brown deep color only accentuated better by her slightly furrowed brow. She is the most beautiful thing here if you’d ask Alex. Prettier and sparkling better than all the christmas lights and sparkling christmas decorations combined and making her feel warmer than all the eggnog combined ever could.

“hey, what’s going on? You were kinda of gone there for a minute. Did Santa take you to the Northpole in your dream?” Maggie forces an awkward chuckle before she sighs when Alex doesnt look up. “hey Alex, are you okay” Maggies voice drops to a whisper but thats not what finally makes Alex looks up.

Maggie rubs her arms once from her elbows to shoulders before both her hands come to rest on Alex’ elbows and she keeps them there. Its only one touch, well two if you count the second arm, but its enough to shake Alex world. To make her just stop and stare. She inhales sharply when she feels Maggies touch. Her entire body stiffens from the touch. It feels like Maggie has touched every cell in her body and Alex entire body just stops to take it as much in as possible.

She can feel the heat, the sparks, running everywhere and the heat from Maggies hands inmediately start the heat and happiness spreading from her stomach to her chest. She feels it so intensily, it just hits her, again. This is what makes her happy, this is who makes her happy. If she ever gets with Maggie, she should probably tell her that. It feels so right, just the small gestion that she almost can’t decide if she wants to smile until her lips hurt or simply cry.

“Its just…. I….. feel….ughh” Alex sighs in frustration.

“I dont know Maggie” she whispers looking away from Maggie.

”Alex, look at me please?” Maggie says with that adorable headtilt that always makes Alex feel week in her knees.

“Its okay to tell people how you feel, ive been telling you that, you know that right?”. “I am not your mom, im not going to judge you or punish you for how I feel”. “ Im also not your sister, you dont have to be strong for me all the time”. Maggie finds herself looking back at her with big eyes, panic just shimmering through.

Alex awkwardly moves her feet and looks away shyly. Maggie takes this insecure and flustered Alex in for a couple of seconds and when realisation dawns into her, her voice falls to a whisper: “you dont know how to tell me how you feel because you’ve never felt like you really could”.

Maggie feels this sting of empathy for the woman standing in front of her”. Alex: special agent, a badass, and yet so innocent in life that she has never learned to express herself. Never learned to deal with her feelings and never learned what her feelings meant either Maggie judges from how much Alex struggled and ultimately came out of the closet at 28 years old.

Now Maggie has to keep her face natural why she feels guilt come up at the image of Alex, so scared and so frustrated that she couldn’t get the words out to tell Maggie how she felt that she just kissed her. And Maggie has to bite her lip now to fight the image of Alex looking at her like a deer in the headlights and running away from Maggie, looking completely broken.

Guilt is just starting to creep up to Maggie when Alex talks again. “I want to talk to you, I need to say so much to you, because my mind just keeps racing and buzzing and I cant make it stop”.

“And I know…. That i am… fresh of the boat…” Alex bites her lip while her cheeks run red from shame. “And I know that-that-that I am annoying because I keep talking to you eventhough you’ve made perfectly clear that I am not enough for you, that new is not your style”. She stops her rambling with a sharp exhale and takes a moment to expose herself.

She shakes of Maggies hands while she continues.  
“So I dont need your pity, you dont need to ask if im fine. But I just- I cant- I need to-“. Alex is stopped by a finger touching her lips and it takes everything in her not to kiss it.

“Okay, we can talk Alex”. “Just take a deep breath, okay?”. “im here for you”. “I’d hoped you would have gotten a little bit less insecure by now. At least so much that you can express your feelings. “But I guess- Maggie pinches her nose with her fingers and tries to push away the uncomfortableness she is feeling right now- that that is a little bit too much asked from the girl who kissed me just because she was too afraid to just tell me how she felt, tell me she was gay”.

“So relax Alex, okay?”. she touches Alex’s face lightly. Maggie almost stops her movements, wondering why she keeps feeling the need to touch Alex, to make sure she is okay, to protect her.

Deep down… she knows.

Chapter 2  
Alex has to blink twice to understand what Maggie said. Did she really just said she thinks she doesnt like Maggie and Alex just kissed her because she was trying to tell Maggie that she liked girls but was emotionally such a mess that Alex just kissed her to make a point?!”.

before Alex can react, Kara bumps in, screaming that its time for presents.

Maggie notices something is not sitting right with Alex. She is sitting next to Winn but she is not even teasing him. What she is doing is drinking through all the eggnog in a remarkable amount of time.

Before Maggie can walk over, Elisa already makes a comment about it; Telling Alex that she is so disspointed that Alex can only be with her family when there is alcohol involved and that she should mature just like Kara did eventhough Kara is from a different world.

Maggie wants to defend Alex who seems to be cringing and after that just makes herself as small as possible and seems to disspear into herself. Her legs pulled to her chest and her eyes looking glassy and anywhere but in someone’s eye.

Alex mom dont even seems to notice which infuriates Maggie. Maggies mom did not love her for who she was, did not see her for who she really was and Maagie hates to see any resemblance tot hat between Alex and her mom. She doesnt even seem to care about how her daughter is doing.

Maggie decides this picture of Alex like this is unbearable so she gives everyone one round of presents while she puts on some music. ‘Shake up christmas’ starts playing in the background while everyone opens their fluffy christmas hat.

Maggie gave Alex the adorable reindeer beanie with fluffy ears on it. She herself has elf ears.

Maggie walks over to Alex with a big smirk on her face.

“what do you think of elf Maggie?”

Alex looks up, and as soon as she sees Maggie with the big fluffy elf ears headwarmers, her face lights up. Her eyes get all shiney and her expression soft. She puts on a fake frowny face.

“ I dont know Mags- what are usually the sizes for christmas elves?  
Because eventhough this elf is adorably cute, I think the height seems to be a little dissapointing. Can I get a grown-up elve instead?”

Alex ends her teasing story with the most innocent smile Maggie has ever seen and at that moment, she looks perfect to Maggie. Just naturally beautiful with that innnocent smile, slightly breathless because of her monologue and her read curly hair wildly hanging around it, all just enlightend with the cute blush creeping up at her ears and cheeks from calling Maggie- she thinks Alex did it unintentionally- cute.

Maggie thinks this might be her most magical christmas yet, at least since her parents kikced her out, with all the lights and Alex.

“ I dont know Danvers”, Maggie mirrors Alex semi-serious face,

“I think I gotta see how good reindeer Danvers looks first before I can decide if I take complaints about the cute elve”.

She winks just to be able to enjoy seeing Alex get flushed.  
She smiles to herself seeing how she clearly made Alex nervous (its still adorable how easily Maggie can do that by simple gestures she gives to women all the time but Alex appearently never experienced).

She smiles till all her dimples are visible when she sees Alex being the clumsiest person ever while trying to put on her reindeer beanie.

“Tadaaaa” Alex says while turning around. “Santa’s most gorgeous reindeer”

Alex puts on a charming smile while flipping her hair, clearly not seeing how ridiculous she looks.

Maggie can’t help herself. She cant believe she fell-uhm pardon her brain- befriended such a huge dork. Or maybe she did fall for her Maggie thinks.

She looks at Alex. The beanie is not straight on her head, causing on ear to look like a unicorn horn and the other one as a tail on the back of her head.

Besides that, two plucks of hair got caught in the ears and are now standing up half straight. But still, she looks ridiculous, but in that moment, she looks ridiculously beautiful to Maggie.

She is obvioulsy a huge dork for her own new beanie.

Her eyes are sparkling, her smile beaming over her entire face and her skin turned slightly pink from all her enthousiasm.

The beanie, while looking ridiculous, actually accentuates Alex beauty. Her red short hair gets cropped up a little bit so her cheekbones and collar bones are on full display and the beanie cuts out her jawline perfectly. Her pink skin seems to glow, radiating her giant smile.

Maggie cant help herself though that after admitting that Alex is beautiful to herself, still starting to laugh so hard she almost chokes.

Alex looks at her, still being an idiot and not seeing it, but laughing along all together. Maggie laughing is just the most attractive thing Alex has ever seen. She never stands a chance and just has to laugh along.

Maggie takes a step closer, suddenly eager to touch Alex soft skin on her face and feel the yet hard contrast of her jawline. She takes a step closer.

Alex being an innocent cute bean as always takes a deep breath, clearly not used to the intimacy.

Maggie is standing right in front of her now and surprisngly finds herself caught of guard as well by Alex closeness. She brings her hands up to Alex head, one grabbing the beanie and the other one cupping her cheak to keep her head from moving.

Alex eyes grow bigger by the intimacy of the action and Maggie finds herself slowing down, looking into Alex beautiful brown large eyes and slowing down her hands to be able to enjoy the impossibly soft touch a little longer.

Alex stares back, clearly surprised, clearly wondering if she is just so unknowing or if this is a situation that happens between people that are more than friends. And at that moment, Maggie stares back, drowning in those impossibly soft eyes and saying to herself she cannot keep being scared:

She needs to tell Alex.

Chapter 3  
Alex feels Maggies hands on her face. Its nothing like she has ever felt with a man. The hands are impossibly soft and a scary thought fleeds through her mind: she would want to feel Maggies soft fingers on all her rough, sour scars she got on her torso on the job.

Alex cant believe she just thought that. She stopped changing in front of people when she got hit on the job for the first time.  
No one can see her scars, let alone from touch, they are Alex’s, she has never particulary wanted anyones hands on her body anyway and no one needs to see how often she had been hurt.

People would only worry and she would only feel shame.

Maggie finally seems to wake up from staring in Alex’s eyes as well in that moment and Alex quickly wonders if she just sees more in this moment because she likes girls now and she thinks more of it then there is.

However, she gets distracted by Maggies voice. She starts to whisper and brings her mouth to Alex ear.  
“im sorry Danvers, but your request has been rejected, your reindeer has been beated by my elve with a score of 100%”.

Alex shivers from Maggies breath near her skin and the goosebumps her breath leaves behind. She quickly recovers though, not been able to let her competative side go.

“pfft” she scoffs, “did you see this face?!”.

She tilts her head, puts on the cutest smile she can find and points her finger towards her face.

“please, this cute face screams reindeer and is wayyy better than your elve”.

“admit defeat Sawyer! You cant beat Reindeer Danvers, this beanie face is undefeatable”.

Alex smiles to herself at the toplevel bantering she just started. She missed this. Maggie gave her some pretty deep cracks in her heart and in her self esteem, but deep down, Alex knows she will always stay. Even as friends, Maggie could be her world. Alex would just want to be the most important person in Maggies life, whether it is a friends or as girlfriends. She cant help it. No one makes her feel like Maggie does. Something is missing when she is not there and when she is there, Alex feels comfortable, complete, happy. All she needs is Maggie to be there for Alex to feel good and happy and just smile.

Deep down Alex knows she wants to be with Maggie forever, because being with Maggie feels so good, because Maggie is her sun, but most importantly, Alex just wants Maggie to stay forever. And if being girlfriends ends in a breakup and Maggie leaving her life or even loosing some of the comfortableness she has around her if they stay friends afterwards,

Alex would prefer staying friends over ever telling Maggie how she really feels about her. Which she appearently has to decide to do again since Maggie thinks Alex doesnt really like her.

Actually Alex should be too afraid. She should just keep being her friends. The chance of loosing her should not be worth it for a short romance, because losing Maggie, feels like cracking her world open, leaving a piece of herself behind.

But deep down Alex knows she feels not afraid enough to just be able to shut these romantic feelings off. Not while her heart and her body is telling her the opposite. Her entire body is buzzing because of Maggies closeness, not when she can feel Maggies body heat radiating of her. And definitely not when her heart still has the slightest spark, thinking they could be together.

And she can definitely not let go of her feelings when she can image her and Maggie together so easily. Not when she finally wants to be touched, not when she knows how soft a female can be.

she wants the small moments, she wants the intimate moemtns with Maggie, she wants to know what Maggie feels like and she wants to do everything with Maggie.

She cant stop thinking about it when Maggie rolls her eyes to her and then starts laughing at her so wide, dimples on full display:

“Well look at yourself Rudolph! You look like Santa’s humpty-dumpty Reindeer”.

Alex wants to respond that ‘weird’ or ‘different’ are often seen as cute but her breath catches in her throat. Maggies hands are both on her cheeks, following her jawline up to her head, slowely turning the beanie 90 degrees and then fixing her hair.

Maggie thinks about how weird it is that this feels like intimacy already to her while she has been ten times more intmate with other women before she felt it.

Now she is only touching Alex head, letting her fingers slide through her soft hair, making it all smooth again and she already feels the heat flow through her entire body, even between her legs. She cant help it but keep her hands there for a little while.

Her palms on Alex jawline, feeling the perfect soft skin and the hard jawbone there and her fingers in Alex hair which feels as soft as satin and as elektrifying as the christmas tree to Maggies fingers. Alex just looks at her.

“there you go”. Maggie whispers.

“next time I should make myself the reindeer”.

“you sure you’re big enough to not be seen as a donkey?” Alex teases her but her tone is breathless.

Maggie cant help but melt.

“but then still you would be the most beautiful Reindeer” she tells Alex softly.

She actually just wanted to call her beautiful. Appearently admitting to herself that her feelings were stronger than her fear, made them all bubble up to the surface.

She wants to make sure Alex is comfortable though. She doesnt want to appear to strong and make Alex feel intimated. She doesnt want to scare her. She doesn’t want to just jump her like Maggie would do with probably any other woman.

She wants to make sure Alex is feeling comfortable, that Alex is catching on to her feelings, that Alex has a chance to stop Maggie if she is afraid or if things are going to fast.

She wants to protect Alex. She wants it to be better for her than it was for Maggie. She just wants Alex to feel good and appreciated in a relationship. She is not an object for sex and Maggie wants to make sure she knows that Alex is loved and valued and this amazing and strong and beautiful woman.

Unfortunatly this means Maggie has to gather everything she has to push her feelings suddenly bubbling up down.

Unfortunately the only way Alex will know all of this is if Maggie talks to her. Maggie gathers all her courage and strength to remove her hands from Alex face.

She looks at the beautiful woman with her reindeer beanie in front of her, looks deep into her eyes and asks the woman who she rejected:

“Alex…. Wanna talk?”

Chapter 4  
Alex feels so confused. Almost as confused as she first started considering she might like women in a way that was different.

She just can’t keep friendship seperated from love anymore appearently because the woman who rejected her so who surely only wants friendship, is making Alex brain and body in complete doubt. Maggie looks at Alex. Wheels are clearly spinning in her head and Maggie hopes that Alex will figure it out herself already.

Unfortunately, Alex seems to be thinking even less of herself than Maggie thought. Maggie sees it a second before Alex opens her mouth by the shame and shy appearence she puts up at once. Her shoulders go down, her face flushes, she swallows and crosses her arms, following by her knuckles turning white from how hard she is squeezing her own arms.

“Look Maggie, I know what you’re gonna say and I wanna be friends. Appearently im that pathetic and needy that I cannot be mad at you or cannot let you go eventhough I heard you loud and clearly when you told me you didnt want me”.

Maggie wants to interrupt her but Alex just mumbles on, eyes averted and turning more red every second.

“-and appearently im also just the worst lesbian person there has ever been-or im finally going crazy just like my mom used to tell me when i was at my worst- Alex scoffs- because I am just so confused by any relation I have in my life. I dont know what love is and what friendship is because I’ve never really had either apart from my sister. I dont know who I can talk to now that I dont have you. I have to take care of Kara and not the other way around like my mom clearly told me. How would my mom even react, how would knowing that I was gay change all my relationships, not only the one with you”.

Alex seems to be rambling so much, her head exploding by every single thing she felt but didn’t feel like she could say and Maggie wants to interrupt, wants to help but Alex already stops her before she can say something, holding up her hand.  
“-and I must be acting weird or inapproperiate to you that you were looking at me with that expression that I just dont understand. But please dont judge me, and please dont leave me alone”.

Alex voice breaks midsentence and she has to inhale sharply to be able to continue. Maggie wants to reach out, wants to do anything to not see this look of pure pain on Alex face as she is finally sharing all her bad thoughts with Maggie again.

“I dont know how my mom and other people would react if I ever even get the words out- I still cant, not literally- and i already dissapoint my mom and I know I dissapoint you too and appearently I need-need-am not good enough and I have to be better but please Maggie”.

Alex has started shaking, her eyes not only looking at the ground anymore but now even closed shut. Her shoulders are clenched and her eyebrow furrowed. Her entire body screams how horrible she is feeling about herself and Maggie wants to cy.

“I will do better” Alex whispers almost silently now. “I will not be so weird anymore”.

Alex swallows heavily.

“I wanted to tell you already but i have been feeling so helpless since you know-the kiss- another thing I did not do good enough. God im such an idiot”.

Alex sighs and then she looks up. Showing Maggie her full appearance, pain written all over her body, this clearly being so much more about Alex telling Maggie how she feels about herself and her life than only about that one reindeer beanie situation around the christmastree.

Maggie knew that Alex felt like such a dissapointment to her mom and that she felt like she had the weight of her world on her back, but she honestly cant believe how Alex can blame Maggie acting like they were a couple while she rejected Alex to herself. How she brings herself down and how she doesnt see how amazing she is and how hard she already tries how Alex is growing already, slowly.

Alex looks at her with pure angst in her eyes: “I know im being a dissapointment but please, ive been feeling so alone already Mags”.

“so please- dont leave me”.

A single tear rolls from Alex face and Maggie sees she is close to panicking. She is shaking harder and harder eventhough she is also clearly trying to compose herself. Maggie thinks this is the moment she needs to get the girl.

She steps closer and tries to embrace Alex. Alex however seems to be pushing her away. Maggie thinks she feels a little overwhelmed by how much she opened up and shortly doubts if hearing what Maggie has to say would be too much for Alex right now. Maggie decides that this hurt is way worse so she takes the leap. She lets Alex push her away but keeps her hand on her shoulder and one on her chest.

Alex suddenly looks up to her, her face clearly asking what Maggie is still doing here.

“Mags, just leave right now?”. “Im just feeling-feeling-slightly-uhm- weak right now”.

Maggie just stays there until Alex breathing slows down.

“why did you stay” Alex asks.

Maggie takes a deep breath and Alex frowns. Maggie puts her hands on Alex face and wipes her tears away. When it doesnt give the effect she wanted, she puts her fingers softly under Alex’s chin.

“Alex, can you look up at me please for a second?”.

Alex looks up after ten awkward seconds, wipes her face herself and tries to apologize.

Maggie stops her inmediately telling her: “Alex, dont do that please? You dont have to”.

Alex gives her an apolgetic smile that turns in an evil smirk.

She shrugs and says “sorry”.

Maggie rolls her eys, thinking she has never liked such a dork but cant help but chuckle either way.

“Listen Alex, I was so stupid, I got so afraid and scared that I freaked out”.

Alex just looks at her with her eyebrows raised, clearly still too unknowing and unexperienced to see the signs as to where this was going. Now its Maggie to turn red. She runs a hand through her hair and clasps and unclasps her hands. She takes two steps through the room to try to explain this to Alex.

“-When you kissed me”. “You were not the one who was stupid, I was. I- i just- I dint think I deserved you. You were so new, you had just accepted who you were, just changed you life and you kissing me, was the last thing I expected. You caught me off guard, I did not expect you to be that brave”.

Maggie whistles to show how impressed she is.

“my parents kicked me out, I wanted to be alone so one-nighters is as far as I went. Good sex or kissing at the back of the club, thats all I knew. And then there was you. And you were different, you were special, you actually made me want to care, which scared the hell out of me. I was only just realising how special you were. I found myself depending on you and I never do that. I found myself needing you but then I heard everyone in your life already needed you and no one seemed to just be-just be there for you. So I couldnt ask that of you and on the other hand I dint want you to depend on me because i was not wort hit. You were so special, you shared your journey with me. I knew how you felt, i knew who you were and how caring you were. Your first relationship deserved to be with someone as soft as you, someone who could take care of you, someone who could help you and someone who knew relationships. What you just said- thats how I felt- you deserved better than me. Not some detached person who has nothing to offer you about love or coming out.

“I was and am just so afraid to hurt you and I couldnt even imagine for you to care about me and me starting to feel protective about you was just terrifying so I-I freaked out”.

Maggie takes a deep breath and looks at Alex completely flabbergasted face.

“Me just out there near the christmas tree, was me realising that I- Maggie Sawyer- are so soft for you Alex”. “ I just want for you to feel good, for you to feel comfortable and happy about yourself, I just want to take care of you”.

Maggies voice drops to a shy whisper. “and I have never felt that way. I just-I just want to feel you and touch you and make you feel safe and just- just- I want you to know that we can be who we are and we should kiss the girls that we wanna kiss… and I just- Maggie smiles breathless at Alex eyes starting to sparkle-

I wanna be with YOU, I wanna kiss you.

Chapter 5  
And then Alex starts to glow, her entire face just shines with happiness.

“can I come closer?” she whispers.

Maggie smiles realising how utterly cute Alex is being right now. Only she can still be unsure enough to have to ask that.

Maggie feels the incredible urge to just jump her now or push her against the wall but she refrains. She is gonna touch every inch of this beautiful woman one day she promises herself, but not today.

Maggie steps closer and slowely brings her face closer to Alex, smiling to herself at how Alex body seems to be going crazy already. Not weird though Maggie thinks, realizing how long Alex body must have been waiting for Alex to figure it out.

She puts her hands slowely on Alex face making sure she only sees sparks and nerves and no panic before she moves her lips to Alex lips.

She stops right before they are touching, her lips inches from Alex’s.

Alex seems to want to moan already but she doesnt think Alex notices herself thats what her body wants. Now she just hears a small smothered sound from her throat.

Maggie whispers to the full red lips that are just sepertated by a hair now:  
“Alex? May I?”.

Maggie waits, the friciton of the almost kiss already making her feel slighly weightless in her head as well.

She feels Alex stare down at her before the woman surprises her yet again.  
Alex grabs her face and closes the distance between them.

Alex feels lips on her own lips and its so much more intense than anything she has ever felt or experienced. Maggies lips are softer than anything she has ever felt and she thinks nothing could ever beat this. Her lips are full and so soft and wet and Alex needs to get closer.

She puts her hands in Maggies hair and hears a weird sound coming from her throat. She feels like more are coming, just small sounds, she can’t help it, she tries to stop it but she is chanceless. The feeling of Maggies hair in her hands and her lips making movements against Alex’ lips is just sensational.

She feels Maggie smile against her mouth at the small sounds coming from Alex throat. Her nose shortly touches Maggies from the rough movement Alex makes at once, her head going places, needed her to move faster, feel more fraction between their lips.

And then Alex feels it. A wet soft pressure against her lips and Alex cant help but let a full moan escape from her throat. Its Maggies tongue, moving slowely only pushing very very lightly against Alex closed mouth.

Maggie takes her time, trying to feel everything Alex is feeling and everything Alex body might be feeling. She moves owh so slowely her tongue among Alex soft, thick, smooth lips. Maggie wants more, she needs more, with Alex it just feels right, it just feels intense and sensational, it feels emotional and Maggie so desperately wants to create more friction but she needs to do this right for the gorgeous woman in front of her so her feelings can only be outed through the increasing throbbing between her legs.

So Maggie keeps moving slowely to make sure Alex can realize what she is doing and actively decide if she wants to open up her mouth to Maggie already.

And then Alex mouth opens and she seems to be more comfortable and daring in her own body than Maggie has ever seen her.

Alex used to be pretty uncomfortable in her own skin and pretty much kept to her own space. But now the slow kisses were becoming more intens.

Every fibre in Alex’s body is on fire and electrified at the same time. It feels like she had become a sparkling and buzzing christmas ornament at the top of the christmas tree, feeling higher than she ever has. She feels Maggies soft tongue making rounds in her mouth now and it feels like she is petting every cell of Alex’s body and from her soul as well now that she is thinking about it.

She can feel every touch, every way their bodies are coming together and she has never felt so intimate and so close to a person and yet so complete, so herself.

She feels her nose brushing against Maggies, which she thinks is adorable.

She feels Maggies soft hands making cirkles on her shoulders and back, making Alex go crazy for her to do that with every part of her body.

She feels every kiss getting deeper and deeper, some slow and loving and the other hot and seeking.

Then Maggie softly pulls her closer and she feels hips against her own and she almost yells it out from the tension and warmth it creates in her body.

Alex feels soft boobs pushing against her own through their ugly christmas tshirts and thats enough to make her start shivering and panting, her body going crazy like she has never had.

Maggie laughs in her mouth, which makes Alex blush and her heart just melts slowely.

Maggies hands start roaming over her body slowely, touching every rib and ending at her hips, keeping Alex still. Alex feels Maggies hands on her hips burn through her tshirt and she gasps and inhales sharply from the touch and the heat and lighnting bolts they send through her body.

Alex realises she has never felt this way, never this good. She has never felt this intimate to someone and yet so good, so comfortable-so much herself. This is who she is- She is Alex Danvers and she likes girls and she is so soft for this one girl: Maggie. Alex feels such intense luck at that moment that she uses it to deepen the last kiss, putting all her emotions-love and happiness-into it untill she hears Maggie squeck adorable.

Maggie pulls away from Alex and they both look at each other.

She takes Alex hands and pulls her back into a different room while Alex still has her eyes closed, a beaming smile on her face, her world clearly being turned around.

Maggie puts on the lights of all the christmas lights in the room and steps closer to Alex till their noses are almost touching again. Alex opens her eyes and looks at the magical atmosphere the christmaslights gives.

Maggie looks at the sparkling lights accentuating every soft part of Alex face and then points at the clock above their head.

“Merry Christmas Alex” she whispers.


End file.
